holidays 2021

Dear friends,

I hope you are all as well as possible. The pandemic continues with variants using more Greek letters than fraternity row. And, for various reasons, despite the availability of vaccines, in the US more people died this year than last.

Closer to home, this year has been marred by losses. A former boss died of (breakthrough) COVID19; friends lost parents. A few weeks ago, a classmate from high school passed suddenly. I recorded Send in the Clowns to channel my grief. A few days later, Sondheim died. 

I know many friends my age struggle with taking care of aging loved ones, from parents to pets. Various friends struggle with relationships that have fallen apart, and rebuilding their networks after that; work challenges; and health issues, related to COVID19 or otherwise. My thoughts are with all of you, those whose struggles I know and those I don’t.

My parents, thankfully, are doing reasonably well. Last year, I reported Momma’s bleak prognosis per her non-small cell lung cancer. Yet this year her cancer seems to have stopped growing and she is in better health. My father marches onto ninety in body, if not in mind. His short-term memory is quite poor. All those researchers who report a positive attitude will lengthen your life, well, should stop smoking crack. 

I have been extremely grateful to all of you who have routinely asked about my parents’ wellbeing.

As for me, it’s been a year of meaningful work with supportive colleagues, adventurous travel, and reflection – reflection particularly about relationships. I’ve come to see that, for several reasons, I’ve tried too hard in certain friendships, and maintained other friendships merely out of habit. I’ve also been reflecting on times when I’ve alienated people by ignoring their cues, not listening attentively, or assuming their willingness to be candid matched mine.

There is a fine line between being true to oneself and needlessly adding hurt to situations. The Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein has written you can communicate just about anything to anyone if you say it in the right way.

In that vein, I’ve committed, in what I hope is a healthy way, in the coming year to observing and listening more, reaching out less, and seeing what the universe brings to me. I’ll do my share and see if others contribute theirs.

And in that vein, I’ve committed to writing a shorter holiday letter than previous years. I succeeded! Perhaps that will create more space to hear from you.

I’ve appreciated various invites to join friends on trips to Kauai and Asheville, generous hosting in Cincinnati, and the chance to travel across the pond to Madrid and Lisbon to meet acquaintances old and new. It was good to spend a week in Lubec, ME, even if SummerKeys was not in session. (Hoping it will be next year!) Next year I have some physical travel planned yet will also be resuming an educational journey by taking linear algebra and differential equations. These classes help in understanding current statistical tools, from machine learning to differential privacy. Wish me luck!

Wishing you and your families all the best for 2022. Please drop me a line and let me know how you are doing.

Love,

Rich